The OurWeddingDay Blog

No matter how many (or how few) people you invite to your wedding, there are going to be some people on the list who you’d prefer not show up. Whether it’s for social reasons (your boss), family (an aunt you dislike), or the husband of your best friend, it’s a wedding fact. Here’s how to deal with the unwanted:

First off, know proper etiquette before nixing people from your list. If a girlfriend of yours is living or married to a man, he is automatically invited too, even if you don’t know him or don’t care for him. While there is no law that says you can invite one of your sisters but not the other, remember that a wedding will be talked about for the rest of your lives; a snub can mean the permanent end of a relationship.

When it comes to boyfriends and husbands, it’s often the case that you don’t know them, and feel strange having them front and center at your wedding. One smart move is to disperse the bridal party through the reception hall, so the “other halves” aren’t at a head table. You can also apply this strategy with distant relatives and new siblings. However, it has to be equal: Make sure that everyone is dispersed in a similar fashion, and never let casual acquaintances sit closer than family.

If you’re not close to a parent, it’s important to know that they’re not expected to sit right next to you—generally, the parent who raised you has that honor. Greet them politely, and treat them like every other guest. Should you decide to sit them next to you or include them in the receiving line, most people will assume you’re still very close and ask questions accordingly. You’re probably doing everyone a favor if you have them close to you, but not at a major table.

Other guests that cause problems are obnoxious friends, or friends who imbibe too much, or people you’ve simply never liked—maybe your fiancé’s best friend. There’s only one word to describe how to deal with that situation: Diplomacy. Remember, the people at your wedding are going to be part of your new life. What better way to get off on the right foot than to extend an invitation, both of friendship and of your wedding.

Bachelorette parties are one of the most fun ways to celebrate with your “girls” before your big day. To make sure you get the most bang for your buck (placed in a G-string or otherwise), read on…

1. Don’t have the party the night before your wedding. What’s worse than waking up so hung-over you can’t get out of bed? Realizing that it’s your day to get married! If you plan to imbibe at your bachelorette party, have it several days before your wedding, so all involved will have time to “recover.” The added benefit is that, come close to your ceremony day, you’re going to have tons of other stuff on your mind.




2. Realize it’s not your party. Although the bachelorette party is held in your honor, you’re not the host, and you shouldn’t dictate the terms. Whoever is hosting (Maid of Honor, mom, a bridesmaid) will most likely try and gets hints from you as to what you’d enjoy, so you’ll end up having a great time. But if you expected a wine-tasting and end up at a bowling alley, suck it up with thanks to spare!




3. Make sure everyone’s included. Whoever is hosting the party should have the names of important people to invite. This includes his sisters and friends coming in from far away. Since the host might only have access to your address book, get her a list in advance. If it’s a surprise shower, and you’re not told who’s hosting, make the list available to everyone in your wedding party.




4. Keep it affordable. Once again, you’re not hosting the party, but you can let your Maid of Honor know that a spa-day would be too extravagant for many members invited. If you’re asked suggestions, keep everyone’s budget in mind. A weekend trip to Paris is fabulous if you’re all named Trump; otherwise, you might think more locally.




5. Know your crowd. Nowadays, it’s common to invite both moms to the bachelorette party. Some people also invite older relatives and friends. If you want to include everyone, it’s probably best to skip the stripper club or pole-dance party and opt for something a bit more sophisticated. If your bridesmaids are hell-bent on something raunchy, make sure they give all women the option not to attend.