The OurWeddingDay Blog

Saving money isn't just for the bride and groom. Being a member of the bridal party can be an expensive commitment, but these DIY party ideas can help you honor your friend without breaking the bank.

DIY Party Ideas For Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties

Host your parties at home: Bridal showers and bachelorette parties can be held in your home. If your home is too small to accommodate several guests, ask other bridal party members or close family members of the couple. While bridal showers have commonly been held in homes, bachelorette parties often tour the local bar scene, but an at-home celebration can be safe, fun and easy on everyone's wallet.

Borrow DIY wedding ideas from the bride: Chances are your bride has found several ways to cut back expenses. Making your own floral arrangements, printing invitations, and re-using items you have for decorations are great tips for a wedding and a pre-wedding party.

Serve appetizers instead of meals: Schedule your bridal shower in the evening and serve cocktails and appetizers. You could also have a mid-morning tea party if your bride loves traditional events.

Turn photos into decor: Turn your memories together into decorations she can keep. Photos of the bride with her friend and fiance make great conversation starters. If you have a photo printer on hand, you can take digital photos of the bride with her guests and send them home with everyone as personalized party favors.

Read more:

• The Wedding Party: Who Does What?
• Backyard Wedding Decoration Ideas
• Choosing the Right DIY Invitations

Most couples today decide to nix the Chippendale’s dancers and Hooter’s girls, leading many to consider combining the bachelor and bachelorette parties. It’s a great way to share the love with all your friends and loved ones, as well as slimming down the pre-party list.

The advantages are abundant. Having a single party means you only need to worry about one venue, and one time for all of your friends to get together. Whether or not that means a budget savings depends on the style of gathering chosen. Like the wedding shower host, the bachelor and bachelorette parties are hosted by someone other than the bride and groom, and the wedding party generally splits the bill. If you’re concerned about their budget, suggesting a joint party makes sense, provided you make it known you’d like them to keep the festivities to a minimum.

Generally, when the bachelor and bachelorette parties are combined, the atmosphere is relaxed and wholesome, and parents and other relatives are often invited. They are popular for second-time bride and grooms, or if you’ve decided not to have a bridal shower.

You can have the joint bachelor/bachelorette party at a bar, restaurant, even someone’s home. Some reception venues offer pre-party rooms, so find out ahead of time if there is a discount. On the same budget-conscious note, check your transportation vendor about discounts for using their company before the wedding. Other popular ideas are day-trips, wine-tastings, spa visits, or a night in the big city near you.

Should you join the two parties, the hosts need to combine ideas and make sure no strippers (male or female) are hired unbeknownst to the bride and groom. While it might sound like a clever gag, emotions run high before weddings. Any sort of sexual theme, no matter how ridiculous, could upset one or both parties.

Since most guests won’t be familiar with a combined party, make sure the invite lets them know the attire expected, and have the best man and maid of honor spread the word on appropriate gifts to purchase—friends will probably want to ditch the lacy teddies in favor of something more co-ed appropriate.

Do not join the parties together if you’re set on a wild evening  with your friends. All-male and all-female parties work much better for debauchery theme nights, and your fiancé doesn’t need to hear your bridesmaid spill out tales of your first boyfriend. As always, if you plan on making it a night of excessive drinking, plan the party several days before the wedding. Unlike your love, hangovers don’t mix on wedding days.

Read more: Unisex or “Jack & Jill” Wedding Showers, Don’t Plan Your Shower: Leave It to Your Maid of Honor and Is the Marriage Equality Debate Effecting Your Planning or Guests?

More and more, women are picking men to be their Man of Honor or a male bridesmaid. There’s no rule that says you shouldn’t do this, and it doesn’t matter how formal your ceremony is. If your best friend is a man, by all means give him the role of Man of Honor; ditto male bridesmaids (“bridesmen,” or simply “groomsmen”). If guests ask questions, let them know how important your friend is to you, and that you couldn’t be happier that he accepted the honor. It’s also become more common for women to ask a brother or other close male relative.

Obviously, a few details will change if you have men in your party, so address them ahead of time to make sure there are no awkward or uncomfortable situations.

Fashion-wise, a man of honor wears an outfit to match the formality of the wedding, and something befitting of the man poised to stand by the bride. His only no-no is to wear a tux or suit that looks similar to the groom’s or the best man’s. Male bridesmaids should wear the same suits as the groomsmen; if they want to add an accessory to show they’re with the bride, they can choose a different tie or boutonniere that more closely complements the bridesmaids' bouquets or attire.

Men of honor or male bridesmaids can take part in all the planning you’d ask of bridesmaids, including planning the shower and the bachelorette party. The shower itself should be unisex—not a bunch of teddies and tales of first boyfriends.  To make sure the guys don’t feel uncomfortable, you probably don’t want to schedule a bachelorette party at Chippendale’s or a “Sex and the City”-themed tour of Manhattan. Whoever is planning (whether a man or a woman) should pick a theme that everyone will enjoy; that can be a wine-tasting, spa day—men like massages too—or a simple get-together at a restaurant or bar.

Another shower option is to make it co-ed and hold it with the groom and his party. Bachelor and bachelorette parties, over the past decade, have become less frenzied and a more sophisticated. Some women with men in their parties choose not to have showers or bachelorette parties, and opt instead for a pre-wedding party in which everyone is invited.

Whatever you decide, treat your male wedding party members with the same respect and equality as the women. Just don’t expect them to line up to catch the bouquet.

Read more: Too Many Bridesmaids?, All About Corsages & Boutonnieres and the Duties of the Maid of Honor

Bachelorette parties are one of the most fun ways to celebrate with your “girls” before your big day. To make sure you get the most bang for your buck (placed in a G-string or otherwise), read on…

1. Don’t have the party the night before your wedding. What’s worse than waking up so hung-over you can’t get out of bed? Realizing that it’s your day to get married! If you plan to imbibe at your bachelorette party, have it several days before your wedding, so all involved will have time to “recover.” The added benefit is that, come close to your ceremony day, you’re going to have tons of other stuff on your mind.




2. Realize it’s not your party. Although the bachelorette party is held in your honor, you’re not the host, and you shouldn’t dictate the terms. Whoever is hosting (Maid of Honor, mom, a bridesmaid) will most likely try and gets hints from you as to what you’d enjoy, so you’ll end up having a great time. But if you expected a wine-tasting and end up at a bowling alley, suck it up with thanks to spare!




3. Make sure everyone’s included. Whoever is hosting the party should have the names of important people to invite. This includes his sisters and friends coming in from far away. Since the host might only have access to your address book, get her a list in advance. If it’s a surprise shower, and you’re not told who’s hosting, make the list available to everyone in your wedding party.




4. Keep it affordable. Once again, you’re not hosting the party, but you can let your Maid of Honor know that a spa-day would be too extravagant for many members invited. If you’re asked suggestions, keep everyone’s budget in mind. A weekend trip to Paris is fabulous if you’re all named Trump; otherwise, you might think more locally.




5. Know your crowd. Nowadays, it’s common to invite both moms to the bachelorette party. Some people also invite older relatives and friends. If you want to include everyone, it’s probably best to skip the stripper club or pole-dance party and opt for something a bit more sophisticated. If your bridesmaids are hell-bent on something raunchy, make sure they give all women the option not to attend.