Jim Stein, Ph.D. just posted a new article: How To Get Your Marriage Off To A Good Start. (via The Huffington Post)
It seems like everybody's got "the answer" for a happy married life, but this article's a bit different because the expert writer is no "love doctor," but a mathematics professor:
"I'm going to be writing about marriage... but what I'm really writing about is decisions.
"In the twentieth century mathematics greatly expanded its scope, and one of the areas that it studied was the process of making decisions. The result of this was a set of ideas and principles for making good decisions. Your life is basically the result of the decisions you make, and I hope that these articles will help you to make better decisions."
It's an interesting perpective to be writing from, and we love that he doesn't pretend to have simple answer, but good strategy that we can try to keep in mind. Read the article here.
Read more: Married Life, The First Year of Marriage: Communication Is Key, The Awww-Inducing Wedding Anniversary Blog Post
"Happiness expert" Sophie Keller just posted a new article, Are You and Your Partner Incompatible or Refreshingly Different?
Check out a sample:
"The fact that you may enjoy different ways of doing things to your partner really doesn't matter, so long as you feel close. You will find that if you feel close to your partner, you will decide that you are compatible and in those moments that you feel less close, you will probably feel incompatible. How close you feel will depend on your mood.
"No doubt, when my husband is in a good mood, he thinks I'm really loyal. In a bad mood, he probably thinks I'm stubborn. When I am in a good mood, my husband is an optimistic person. When I am in a bad mood, I can easily think he is unrealistic. In a bad mood, my husband probably thinks I am opinionated and in a good mood, he might think I'm expressive."
Read the full article here.
Do you and your groom argue a lot? Do you have opinions on couple who disagree regularly?
Tabby Biddle just wrote an interesting article about how traditional gender roles have been changing pretty consistently since the 50s (actually they've always been changing, but lets stick to recent history shall we?), and how that affects modern marriage.
She writes, "Probably many of us can agree that for much of the 20th century the archetypal gender roles of marriage were: husband as breadwinner and protector and wife as homemaker and mother. Even if a woman was working, there was an unspoken code about the roles a husband and wife would assume upon being married. But over the recent couple of decades, due to economic and socio-political changes, that code can no longer be assumed and more to the point -- is in a process of reconstruction."
She goes on to discuss her own marriage, from the "roles" she and her husband play, to who's the main breadwinner and how that may change. Check out the full article here.
Have you considered who will do what in your new married household?
For many of us, wedding planning includes dieting. At OurWeddingDay.com we encourage making healthy, reasonable adjustments to your eating and exercising habits, rather than trusting fad or crash diets to help you reach your goal weight. However, around this time of year, what is "reasonable" becomes tricky.
Holiday meals are notoriously heavy, with lots of sweets, carbs and liquor, resulting in a 5-7 pound weight gain between Thanksgiving and New Years for many people! So what's a bride-to-be to do?
Check out Dr. M.J. Wegmann's article, 4 Ways To Avoid The "Holiday Weight Gain" for a little guidance. Of course it ultimately comes down to willpower, but Wegmann outlines some common sense ways to truly enjoy holiday fare without going off the rails!
Check out the full article here.
Is there a language barrier between you and your groom-to-be? Lucky you!
Jag Carrao just posted and interesting article over at The Huffington Post, "Surprising Advantages of Dating Someone You Can't Understand." Citing doctors, relationship counselors and even Sean Connery (who credits his 30 year marriage to often not understanding his French wife), Carrao thinks the argument has merit and even provides a half-serious list of its benefits:
- No man-terrifying “relationship talks.”
- Fewer heated debates about stem cell research and Oscar predictions.
- Less ambiguity about date logistics (aware of the language barrier, he nails down date/time/place to avoid any misunderstanding).
- Exotic charm of endearments uttered in a foreign tongue.
- And most importantly: less conversation, more kissing.
Of course, she also details the obvious drawbacks to not understanding your spouse... but those aren't as funny! Check out the full article here!
Last week we told you about an article in the British Mail newspaper that advocated for couples to sleep in separate beds. Well, that article seemed to get some Americans considering the idea as well: Over at the Huffington Post this week, Sophie Keller shares her "9 Reasons to Sleep Separately."
She writes, "Even as newlyweds, my husband and I slept separately due to incompatible sleep habits. He needs only 5 hours of sleep, is up quite a bit through the night and snores very loudly. I, on the other hand, am a very light and quiet sleeper and need 8 hours of rest. With our differences we knew that there was a potentially huge problem very early on in our relationship and even though it took us time to get used to it, we decided that sleeping apart was the best long-term solution. Most people believe that if you have separate rooms it must mean that you are probably not having sex. But that, from my experience, is absolutely not true at all. Sleeping separately did not take the passion out of the relationship. On the contrary, I actually think that it quite possibly enhanced it."
Check out her "9 Reasons!"
Once again, we don't think there's any "one solution" for everybody to have a happy marriage. Obviously, different people have different needs and different things that make them happy. Still, like we said last week, it's always interesting to consider different ways to keep ourselves -- and our spouses -- happy.
Planning ahead for our married selves and married lives is exciting, but -- let's be honest! -- a little nerve-wracking too. We all want to be good at it!
With that in mind, check out this article by Gretchen Rubin. It's a list of 5 mistakes that she makes in her marriage. She's not beating herself up, and she's not trying to be perfect. She's simply acknowledging faults and trying to be better.
A little self-examination goes a long way in keeping marriages healthy and happy over the years!
Are bushy eyebrows back? Verena von Pfetten seems to think so, and she's got a slide-show to prove it, featuring Keira Knightley, Julia Roberts, Beyoncé and more!
There's no doubt that these ladies look stunning, and tweasing can be a chore. How contoured will your brow be on your wedding day?
Another day, another "answer" to a lifetime of love!
It can seem as though everybody has an opinion on how to keep romance alive over the long haul, but if you read them as common sense reminders, rather than the one-and-only answer, then they may serve you well. We can all take others for granted at times, and we can all afford to take stock of how we treat each other.
Take this article, for example: 5 Easy Ways to Serve Your Relationship. It won't be news to you to 'love him as he is, not as you want him to be,' but it may be worth your time to remind yourself of it. And a few other nuggets worth keeping in mind, too.
Check out this article about "dealing with your in-laws" over at The Huffington Post. On the main page the title is Rule #1 For Dealing with Your In-Laws, but when you click on it the actual title is Rule #1 For Dealing with Nasty People (Particularly In-Laws)!!!
Oh yeah, and it's accompanied by a still from Monster In Law. Subtle.
What's with the anti-in-law sentements. We love ours. Really! We do!