The OurWeddingDay Blog

When setting out to plan a wedding, the first thing you need to decide is if it is going to be a large, medium, small or intimate affair. Your wedding guest list often depends on how big your family is. Are you going to invite every second cousin and their children? Are you going to invite all of your co-workers, or your church congregation? Are your going to keep it small, with just your closest friends and family? These are questions that need to be addressed upfront.

After deciding how large or small your wedding is going to be, you need to begin making a rough wedding guest list. This will confirm whether or not the size of your wedding is feasible. Note: remember that the guest list is sometimes dictated by who is paying for the wedding. It is important to respect some of these guest requests. On the other hand, if there is someone you absolutely do not want at your wedding, be sure to speak up.

You should send save the date cards as soon as five months before the wedding. Printable wedding invitations are usually mailed out 6 weeks before. Remember that if you are having a destination wedding, you need to mail invitations sooner so that guests have ample time to make travel arrangements.

Read more:

• Creating Your Wedding Guest List
• Are People Hinting for Invitations?
• Save-the-Date Invitation Etiquette

Here are a few things to consider when organizing your wedding seating chart:

• Decide whether you are going to have a sweetheart's table or a head table. The sweetheart table holds just the bride and groom while the head table consists of the bride, groom, and bridal party. A head table is usually elongated and faces the rest of the tables at the reception. It gives the bridal party a better opportunity to mingle and visit with other guests, as they will likely have spent countless hours together in the days leading up to the wedding. However, with a head table, it is nice for the bride and groom to be surrounded by their closest friends during the reception.
• Consider the venue. Seating decisions largely depend on the nature of your venue. Some spaces lend themselves to having a bridal party table, and some venues, such as hotels and larger venues, work better with a sweetheart's table—especially if there is some sort of a raised platform that will give the bride and groom a better view of the reception. If you are not sure which type of wedding seating plan to choose, try drawing out a map of your wedding table arrangement both ways, as this will help evaluate what would look and feel better. Also, remember that you may want your groomsmen to act as wedding ushers, which might affect where you seat them.
• Decide where you are going to put immediate family members. Traditionally, you put your family members at the table closest to you. This table does not have to include your entire family, but it should definitely include your parents and grandparents.
• Use your intuition when seating people who don't know each other. Although it may make sense to group people by who they already know, try mixing it up a bit. At each table, try putting a few people who already know each other with a few people who have never met. Inevitably, the people who are already acquainted at a wedding will find each other at some point during the reception (or on the dance floor). Mixing the tables up gives guests the opportunity to have conversations with new people. But having a table where no one knows each other can be awkward. Try to find a balance.
• Be creative with odd numbers. And, don't have a designated singles table, as this is frowned upon in wedding etiquette. However, trying to figure out where to put singles can pose a challenge due to odd numbers. If you have a single friend who does not know anyone at the wedding, try to put him or her at a table with people you know he or she would have a lot in common with. For example, if you have a friend who likes painting and film, put him or her with your college friends who were in drama club. Also, think about the guests at your reception who are warmest and most welcoming, and put people who don't know anyone with them.
• Decide on table names. It is currently the trend to give each table a name instead of a number. First, this is an opportunity to individualize your wedding, but it also avoids the perception of hierarchy. For example, if the bride and groom share a love of literature, you give each table the name of a favorite book or author.

Read more:

• The Seating Arrangements
• The Church Wedding Seating Guide
• Designated Reception Seating

No one likes a quiet table, especially on your wedding day. If you’re worried that some of your guests won’t know how to engage in conversation with each other, here are some tips to get the party started.

Memorable Photos
Since you know who’s sitting where, place old photos of the guests in small frames. Even if the guests don’t know each other, they’ll hoot and holler over pictures of bad hair and worse outfits. You can also place photos of yourselves on the table, which is sure to get a few “oohs” and ahs” from each guest.

Crazy Centerpieces
Want to get the guests gabbing? Try placing tiered candy-cakes on the table. No one can keep mum when they’re forced to argue over M&M plain versus peanut. Fondue-fountain centerpieces work wonders for inciting gab, as do Smore’s and Rice Krispie Treats. If you want to stay away from food, try something funky like Lava Lamps or anything retro.  

Great Favors
Speaking of retro, nothing is going to get the guests talking like mood-ring favors; everyone will be comparing colors. Bubbles are always a smart way to go, as are sparklers (check ahead to make sure the site allows them). When in favor doubt, give each guest something slightly different, and wrapped. People love to compare and contrast, and it immediately gets them talking.

Fun and Games
Depending on the style and formality of your wedding, you can print questions on the table cards. “Where did Aunt Joan and Uncle Lou honeymoon?” is the type of cocktail chatter that’s automatically created with this game. You can even have a little pre-wedding fun with outdoor bonfires, shuffleboard or horseshoes, or a volleyball game. By the time the guests take their seats, they’ll be bosom buddies.

Classic Touches
The best way to get guests talking is to make sure you’ve put together an excellent seating chart. Never put an entire family together, and don’t put together two relatives who’ve not spoken since 1983. Mix and match, so people are forced to introduce themselves and say their relationship to the bride or groom—the quickest way to get them chatting about their backgrounds. Another savvy idea is to spread out the wedding party members, so each one and his/her date is at a separate table. Everyone wants to talk to the wedding “insiders” to get the scoop. Finally, make sure you greet each person at each table, and make sure they’re all communicating. If you sense a lull, point out that your sorority sister Renee volunteers for the Humane Society, just like your groom’s nephew, seated immediately to her right. Polite and informative talk is always the best way to help everyone get to know one another.

Read more: Having an Ice Bar at Your Reception, 5 Delicious Dessert Alternatives and Live Video Feeds at Ceremonies & Receptions

Planning your wedding around a major, or even minor, holiday can be an exciting and unforgettable way to celebrate your nuptials. There are pros and cons to holiday weddings, however, and it’s a good idea to know what you’re getting into.

Religious holidays, like Christmas and Chanukah, can be problematic for friends and loved ones who have prior obligations or would rather not attend a wedding on a sacred day. You also need to consider the different religious or non-religious beliefs of your guests, and whether or not your service should include touches specific to the holiday in question. Reception halls and houses of worship tend to be more booked on all holidays, and vendors are in high demand.

If you’re intent on having your wedding in December, but don’t have a large budget, consider an at-home wedding. (For Christmas or Chanukah, a ceremony at home followed by a reception at a local venue is a nice compromise.) For a non-secular holiday like the Fourth of July, a backyard wedding is a great option, or a beach or park; always find out ahead of time about fees and restrictions.

An advantage to major holidays is that your site might already have much of the decorations, saving on floral or designer fees. Houses of worship frequently have decorations in place, as do reception halls and restaurants. When touring prospective sites, find out what their décor will be, and see if it can be incorporated into your wedding.

One definite “to-do” for a holiday wedding is to send out save-the-date cards and give guests as much time in advance as possible. As soon as you’ve booked the date, send out the cards, and follow up with reminders and updates on your wedding web site. A year’s notice is not too early for holiday weddings. Expect more RSVP “no’s” on holidays, as some loved ones won’t be able to change their vacations or annual holiday plans.

Since airfares and hotel rooms are more costly over most holidays (Valentine’s and Halloween being two possible exceptions), look into group rates as soon as you can. A great touch is to leave gift baskets with holiday themes. Your guests will get into the spirit even faster if they arrive at their hotel to find a bag full of stocking stuffers!

Read more: The Holidays Vs. Your Wedding Diet, 5 Ways to Pick Your Wedding Theme and How to Make Sure They’ll “Save the Date”

As nice as it sounds, not everyone can attend your wedding or be notified about the affair before the invites have been sent out. Since friends and loved ones often jump the gun, here are a few ways to deal with over-eager party-goers.

Once you announce that you’re getting married, a lot of people will drop hints that they would like an invitation. Most of those who say something are people you plan on inviting, so it’s easily solved by saying “We haven’t finalized the guest list, but we’ll let you know.” Remind those friends that it’s smart to keep quiet about the affair. It’s wise to work on the guest list ASAP, since you’ll have a rough idea of how to handle the inquiries.

Unfortunately, some of the hints will come from people who you can’t invite, or might have to relegate to the B-List. Should a co-worker inquire, the best way to handle the situation is to say that you haven’t decided yet on whether or not you’ll be inviting people from the office (the rule of thumb for weddings is that you invite everyone in your office, or just the boss). Your actual boss is unlikely to say anything, but if he or she does, it’s best to try your hardest to include them. Office diplomacy exists even during your engagement period.

A friend that you can’t invite is difficult, since you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Politely explain that your wedding guest list is limited and you simply don’t have the room. Mention his side of the family, obligations, etc. If he or she is on your B-List, say that you’re still trying to fit everyone in, and will let them know as soon as possible. Never tell a friend that you’re trying to fit them in if you’ve already decided not to invite them. It’s much smarter to let them know upfront that you don’t have room, then to keep them wondering.

The hardest hint-droppers are relatives. If you’re not inviting cousins, and they’ve asked early on, you might want to consider them for the B-List. However, know that once you start adding, your guest list will bloom. Should you be planning a small affair and are afraid of the fall-out from family members, let everyone know ASAP that it’s an intimate affair. A smart idea is to let parents or your maid of honor spread the word. It’s always better that people know the situation now than to be left hanging at the altar.

If you’re having many out-of-towners for your wedding, it’s a smart idea to reserve blocks of hotel rooms ahead of time. By doing this, you save travelers the trouble of finding their own lodgings (and, perhaps getting stuck in a run-down motel), and you can probably save them some cash. The less they have to worry about in regards to hotels, the more fun they can have during your wedding festivities.

Read the article here, including when to book, ways to save and what's expected.

It usually takes at least a year to plan a traditional wedding, but if you’re pressed for time, don’t panic. It’s possible to have an exquisite wedding that was thrown together in less time. Planning a wedding last minute is much easier than you might think...

Read the article here to find out how to get started, budget appropriately, assign tasks to friends much more.

There’s a reason why, as other wedding customs come and go, receiving lines have remained popular. Receiving lines are the best way to make sure you have a chance to speak to all of your guests individually, and it allows them to offer their best wishes on your new life together. Receiving lines are a must for a large wedding (etiquette dictates that all weddings with more than 50 guests include the line), and are usually held immediately after the ceremony, and before the reception.

Check out when and where you should have your receiving line, and who should be a part of it, here.

We just posted a new article about welcoming your out-of-town wedding guests!

For many wedding guests, your big day is more than a celebration; it’s a journey. Making out-of-town guests comfortable and welcome is imperative, and a gift to the loved ones who’ve come so far to share your joy.

Use your OurWeddingDay.com personal Wedding Web site as a wedding guest resource, with a complete list of activities, scheduled times, dress codes, and maps. If there is any downtime for out-of-towners, point out sites to see in your area—museums, great restaurants, beaches.

Check it out!

A groom in Beirut recently planted more than 1,000 trees in honor of his wedding guests.

Nidal Khalil, the groom and his sister Zena, a Lebanese recycling artist and environmental activist collaborated with the American University of Beirut's Nature Conservation Center for Sustainable Futures to plant the 1,000 trees across Lebanon.

Zena said, "Growing up in Nigeria my brother Nidal and I developed a special connection to the land.  Since we were flying people in from all around the world, I thought it would be a great idea to plant trees for each of the over 1,000 guests attending my brother's wedding.  We wanted to start a trend and usually trends in Lebanon start with drinking and dancing, but we thought with the trees we could make the idea interesting enough that it would inspire others.  The tree gift brochures and small wooden tree silhouette souvenirs, donated by IBSAR, aided us in raising awareness among our guests."

Click HERE to read more about this family's gift to guests and to the Earth.