The OurWeddingDay Blog

From the invitations, to the ceremony, to the reception, each couple tries to make their day as special, memorable and perfect for themselves and their guests.  Since guests expect and want certain things when attending a wedding, here are some inside dos and don’ts to ensure everyone enjoys the day.

Invitations.
When sending out your invitations to single individuals, try to include “and guest” with their wedding invite.  Just because an adult isn’t married, that doesn’t mean they don’t have someone special they’d like to bring.  For more and other ways to reduce your guest list properly read here.

Let there be no surprises to anyone who sees the invitations. Make sure to include all parents of the bride and the groom, regardless of who is paying the bill. If you have step-parents, discuss with them the invitation name arrangements.

Avoid specifying the type of gifts you’re looking for. For example, never demand that you’re only looking for cash gifts. It’s bad etiquette to assume they’ll all be giving gifts, even if it is standard to do so.  Instead use online registries and your bridal party to get the word out.

Always include directions to the wedding ceremony as well as to the reception. Relatives and friends come from all over and many may not know your area. Giving them a list of directions and possible hotel locations can make their stay much more organized and enjoyable.

Check out more invitation etiquette here.

The ceremony.
Timing is everything. Your service should run, on average, thirty to forty-five minutes, depending whether you’re having a full mass, synagogue wedding, or simply exchanging your vows. A long ceremony can dull the magic your guests want to feel during the moment you two become husband and wife.

Don’t have a large gap in time between the ceremony and the cocktail hour. For example, if your ceremony is at 3:00 pm and your cocktail hour doesn’t start until 6:00 pm, your guests will have at least two hours to wait in between events. While the bridal party has pictures, the bridal cocktail hour and other obligations, your guests need to be entertained as well.  It doesn’t need to include alcohol, but they should be given something nice.

Cocktail hour.
The cocktail hour is not the main event; some hors d’ouevres, drinks and socializing is all that’s necessary in preparation for the reception.  Remember, however, that guests will expect alcohol, so if you decide against it to spread that word in advance.  If you're looking to nix the mix for budgetary reasons, a cash bar is not the answer: Guests should not be expected to open their wallets at your wedding.

Don’t have an overload of food; give your guests the chance to try a little bit of everything, but you don’t want them so stuffed that they have no room for the main course and, the best part… dessert!

The Reception.
Everyone always dreads the seating arrangements. To keep the peace, try to seat guests with those relatives and friends they get along with. Think about having parents with small children sit with other parents and their children.

Keep the intros of the bridal party short and sweet, so that you have time for food, dancing and events. Make sure you serve dinner no later than 9:00 pm...guests don’t like to eat dinner after 10.

Make sure your table centerpieces are small enough that you can see everyone across, diagonally and next to you at the table. Big centerpieces, although pretty and dramatic, can take away from the personal affect your guests should feel with each other. A small flower arrangement or candle is just enough!

Overpowering music, whether from a DJ or a band, makes it difficult for guests to talk to each other, even when sitting right next to one another. Keep the music pumping, but at a normal level; you don’t want your guests’ ears to ring for days afterwards!

Lastly, never discuss the wedding cost with your guests; this insinuates asking for a bigger gift and guests never want to feel like they were invited just for a financial handout.

Don’t worry about having to think of everything.  Think about what you’ve liked (and what you didn’t!) about weddings that you’ve attended, and you’ll make the right decisions.

Every party has its share of no-shows, and the same will be true of your wedding. Even though it’s the most wonderful day of your life, there will always be guests who, despite good intentions, simply can’t make it. When you’re planning your reception, you should assume that 10-20% of your friends and loved ones will RSVP “no.” However, before you slash the same amount of money from your budget, you need to factor in some considerations.

Most important, never under-plan: If you’ve sent out 100 invitations, be prepared to serve 100 guests. Although highly unlikely, there is a chance that all your invited guests will attend. Not having enough food for your guests is the last glitch you want to worry about on your big day.

More than likely, however, the guest count will fill up in different ways. If you’ve included a B-List of friends to invite, they’re going to make up the difference. Another probable scenario is unexpected “guests” showing up at the last-minute. These are the friends who, despite your “no children” rule, bring along three toddlers without letting you know, or the single guy who brings a date even though his invitation didn’t say “plus one.” Then, of course, there are always the few who show up even though they didn’t RSVP, or who do so at the last minute.

Should you encounter any of these situations ahead of time, you can deal with their requests properly. On the day of your wedding, there’s not a whole lot you can do besides smile and try not to let it bother you. If you’ve added extra people into your reception budget, you don’t have to go into panic mode.

As a rule, the guests who RSVP soon, and who are very close to you, will show up on the wedding day. If your affair is small, with, say, 50 guests, and the guests live nearby, expect almost all of them to show up. Most who can’t will tell you up front. No matter what size of wedding you’re having, always be prepared to go over your reception budget. Sometimes, aunts and uncles you never dreamed would come to your wedding RSVP “yes.” You need to make sure you know their answer before you give the caterers the final guest count.

If you’re bothered about the extra money you’re paying for food, take a load off your mind by donating the leftovers to a homeless shelter, something that you can arrange through your caterer or by contacting your house of worship ahead of time. It’s a wonderful way of giving back on a day in which you’ve been heavenly blessed.

It usually takes at least a year to plan a traditional wedding, but if you’re pressed for time, don’t panic. It’s possible to have an exquisite wedding that was thrown together in less time. Planning a wedding last minute is much easier than you might think...

Read the article here to find out how to get started, budget appropriately, assign tasks to friends much more.

With everything else you have to worry about for the big day, make sure your wedding rehearsal dinner is as painless and stress-free as possible. After all, the rehearsal dinner is your and your family’s time to exhale and relax the day before the main event. Follow these basic rehearsal dinner etiquette rules here to host an evening your guests will remember for a lifetime.

Read the rest of this article here.

Many people have their wedding invitations addressed with calligraphy (the translation is “beautiful writing”), an elegant touch to your big day. You can also use calligraphers for menus and pre-wedding parties, but keep in mind that it’s an elaborate and time-consuming task. If you’re a calligraphy pro, by all means download fonts on your computer, and do it yourself. Calligraphy is not an art you should try and learn in the process of wedding planning... Read the rest here.