The OurWeddingDay Blog

Giving a speech at the wedding reception is one of the many maid of honor traditions that is still in full effect at modern day weddings. Writing a speech of any kind can be nerve wracking, but also a lot of fun. Use the following ideas and guidelines as your road map when fulfilling one of the most important maid of honor duties of all.

Brainstorm Early: Don’t wait until the last minute to write your speech, but rather jot down ideas early on. Start a journal and label it “Maid of honor toasts” and write down as many ideas as you can for the months leading up to the wedding day. Then as the date approaches, read through your ideas, toasts, stories etc. and decide which will make the final speech.

What to include: Make sure you express how honored you are to be a part of such a joyous and significant occasion. Also include a story about the happy couple, or about the bride. Famous quotes are always a nice touch either at the very beginning or at the end of the speech. Wrap up your speech by raising your glass high in the air with a salute to the bride and groom.

Common mistakes: Whatever you do, do not spend 15 minutes telling stories about you and the bride. Remember that this event is honoring the bride and groom, so if you include any stories make sure they relate to the couple, and if they don’t then keep them very short and very sweet.

Read more:

• The Maid of Honor
• 5 Essential MOH Responsibilities
• Letting Your Maid of Honor Plan Your Shower

In order to make sure your wedding day goes off without a hitch, you’ll want to give your wedding party a detailed wedding day schedule that highlights their responsibilities. Your wedding day is, in many ways, like a production, so in order to ensure everyone plays their part; they’ll need a script with stage directions.

As far as the best man and maid of honor are concerned, they should be given information about their duties as soon as you announce your engagement. Since the maid of honor and best man responsibilities begin during the many months leading up to the wedding, it is respectful to make sure they’re informed with plenty of planning time. For example, since one of the best man duties is to plan the bachelor party, he’ll need to know what that entails so that he’s able to get hotel reservations and/or show tickets in advance.

Type up a wedding day schedule for each member of your wedding party, which includes a timeline of where they need to be when, and include any phone numbers (your maid of honor or parents) that they can call if they are going to be late or have any questions. This way you won’t have to worry about answering calls from lost or confused wedding party members on the day when you really should only have to focus on walking down that aisle!

Read more:

• What Brides Forget to Rehearse
• Your Church Rehearsal
• Modern Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

The term “maid of honour” originated in the United Kingdom, and referred to the woman who was in charge of attending the queen. This has translated into today’s wedding tradition as the bride’s closest friend or sister, who is deemed the bride’s maid of honor. Maid of honor responsibilities are as plenty or few as the bride and/or the maid of honor decide upon, however she is required to participate in the wedding ceremony.

If you have just been asked to be a maid of honor, and are unclear on your duties, then take notes from made of honor traditions. Traditionally, the maid of honor offers moral support to the bride-to-be throughout the wedding planning process, up until the end of the wedding reception. The maid of honor is typically called upon for opinions relating to wedding dresses, cakes, invitations, bridesmaids dresses etc.

Prior to the wedding ceremony, the maid of honor is required to help the bride by offering emotional support, as well as help with her dress, veil, or any beauty-related needs. It is up to the maid of honor to make sure the bride’s dress and veil remain in place throughout the wedding ceremony.

Being chosen as a maid of honor could be a once in a lifetime opportunity, and is an indication that you have close friends who care about and trust you, so make the most of it and cherish every minute!

Read more:

• Your Wedding Party: Who Does What?
• The Maid of Honor
• 5 Essential MOH Responsibilities

When you've been asked to be maid of honor at someone's wedding, you may not know what exactly will be expected of you. Your maid of honor responsibilities will begin long before the big day; but with the right attitude and the right team of bridesmaids, your maid of honor experience will be one you'll never forget. Read on to learn more about what your maid of honor responsibilities include.

1. Bring the bridesmaids together. With most bridal parties, the people chosen are from different stages, or aspects, of the bride and groom’s lives. Sometimes, they live in different cities or states (or even countries), and have perhaps never even met each other. Therefore, someone needs to be in charge of coordinating with everyone, and this usually falls under the maid of honor responsibilities. Get a list of email addresses and phone numbers of each bridesmaid and send it out, and help coordinate everyone’s schedules (who live in proximity to each other) in order to go shopping for bridesmaids’ dresses. Figure out times that work with everyone’s schedules for key pre-wedding events such as showers, bachelorette parties, and accessories shopping. If you are not a detail-oriented, organized person, this will pose some difficulty. Ask for some help, but make it a point to do your best.
2. Help with the logistics of the bridal shower. Some consider the bridal shower as one of the maid of honor duties, but it should not necessarily fall on her shoulders. Sometimes, the mother of the bride, or the mother of the groom, wants to throw the shower; sometimes it is a close older friend (someone who is like a second mother to the bride). Depending on your age, you may not have the proper space for throwing something as large as a shower, so do not feel obligated. However, do help in whatever ways you can. Another great option is having each bridesmaid bring a dish or dessert so that the expense, cooking and food preparation does not fall on one person’s shoulders.
3. Plan the bachelorette party. First, find out exactly what the bride wants for her bachelorette party. Does she want a wild night out, or an intimate time in? If it is the latter, plan an evening of pedicures and wine. If she wants a night on the town, make reservations for dinner and figure out where to go dancing!
4. Plan a speech. Maid of Honor Speeches are a special part of the reception. This is your chance to put into words how happy you are for the new couple, and to verbally share in their joy. This is also an opportunity to emphasize how special the bride is to you. You have been chosen as the maid of honor because you are a sister (or like a sister) to her. You will undoubtedly have some special memories to share, and funny stories to make everyone laugh. Your enthusiasm should be contagious. Set the tone and excitement for the festivities with your speech!
5. Be an extension of the bride. This is perhaps the most important of the maid of honor responsibilities. You are the second pair of eyes and ears for the bride. When the whole celebration is over, you are the person she will go to in order to get all of your feedback. (The bride simply cannot take in every little detail, but will want to hear about everything afterwards!) She will want to know about interesting conversations you heard, the coffee bar that she did not get a chance to try, and the funny thing that happened on the dance floor that she missed. If you need to, write everything down!

Read more:

• Not Planning Your Bridal Shoer: Leaving It to the MOH
• Your Complete Wedding Party: Who Does What?
• Dealing with Jealous Bridesmaids

Bridal party gifts are important because they show appreciation to the people who help plan and make your day special. Without your bridal party, your wedding wouldn’t be the same. Here are a few gift ideas that are certain to bring pleasure to your bridal party:

1. Accessories to complement the bridesmaids dress. This depends on whether you want your bridesmaids to decide which earrings, necklace, hairpieces or shoes to wear on the wedding day. If you would like them all wearing the same earrings or shoes, for example, you could find the exact pieces you like and purchase these as your bridesmaids gifts. It is important to let them know what your plan is beforehand though, so your bridesmaids don’t go looking for jewelry and shoes on their own. Also, make it clear that you are paying for these things.
2. General accessories. Earrings, scarves, and necklaces make excellent bridal party gifts, partly because you can choose things that accentuate or complement your bridesmaids’ personal style without buying a difficult-to-fit clothing item like a shirt or sweater. The season or theme of your wedding could also dictate what type of accessories you purchase.
3. Stationery. Stationery always makes an excellent gift, and writing letters is a lost art. If you are on a budget, you can find adorable stationery sets at discount stores. Be patient and check a few different places. You can also add special calligraphy pens, if you want, or cute rubber stamps. You could also buy a stamp with each of your bridesmaids’ custom-embossed initials on it, with which to seal their letters. This is the sort of gift people do not think to purchase for themselves, but would love using!
4. Scented Candles. This goes without saying. Candles almost always bring pleasure to any girl. Make sure that no one in your party is allergic—or opposed—to scented candles. (Otherwise, there are plenty of lovely soy candles on the market.)
5. Gift cards to a favorite store or coffee shop. If you know that your friend frequents a particular coffee shop, or that she loves popping into a certain department store, get her a gift card. That way, she can pick exactly what she likes!

Groomsmen gifts tend to be a little more difficult, partly because small gifts like candles or earrings usually don’t work. Here are a few ideas:

1. CD or DVD/blu-ray. If you know your groomsman’s tastes in movies or music, getting him a blu-ray or CD is perfect. You could also consider ordering a subscription to an online movie rental service, if he doesn’t already have one.
2. Movie Tickets. He will most certainly use them at some point.
3. Subscription to a magazine or publication. Does your groomsman like to read? If so, get him a year-long subscription to a favorite music, movie, sports, or political publication.
4. Tickets to a concert or sports game. Depending on your price range, this is a fantastic gift idea because it is something you can actually do together!
5. Gift card to a favorite food place. If you know that he often eats lunch at a Mexican place near his workplace, get him a gift card!

Read more:

• Your Complete Wedding Party: Who Does What?
• Groomsmen 101
• Bridesmaid Organization & Duties

Any job that is given to a friend or family member for your wedding is of great significance, however, the duties of the maid of honor and best man are of the utmost importance. The person you ask to be your best man should be aware of what is expected of them, perhaps before they give you a definitive yes. I’ve been the maid of honor for two brides to date, and both were extremely demanding of my time, however the rewards of such an important role were priceless.

Pre-Wedding

• The first of the best man responsibilities that needs to be taken care of is to begin planning the bachelor party. The best man is the planner and point person for the entire event. If a trip is being planned, the best man goes over the details with the groom prior to making reservations. The trip could backfire if the groom is asked to do anything or go anywhere that he doesn’t feel comfortable with.
• The best man should prepare at least one speech for the bachelor party. This speech can be more of a casual toast congratulating the groom and is also a prime opportunity for him to tell stories about the groom that may not be appropriate for the wedding reception.
• Prior to the wedding the best man should be a pillar of support for the groom. He should be available to take care of any errands that the groom needs help with such as picking up the groom’s tuxedo, or helping him with the essentials needed for his honeymoon.
• He is expected to make the first speech at the rehearsal dinner.

Day of Wedding

• The best man is in charge of helping the groom dress for the wedding.
• It’s customary for the best man to travel to the ceremony with the groom.
• The best man is responsible for letting the groomsmen know whom they will be walking down the aisle with.
• The best man should be at the ceremony before it begins to welcome friends and family and to let ushers know where to seat friends and family of the bride and groom.
• Even though there may be a Ring Bearer, the actual wedding ring should be given to the best man for safe keeping up until it is handed to the groom during the ceremony.
• The best man should ensure that the groom has the marriage license.

Post-Ceremony

• He will give the best man wedding speech at the reception.
• The best man duties also include a dance with the maid of honor for one song that will be specified by the band or DJ.
• Also in charge of returning the groom’s tuxedo after the wedding and any other errands that need to be taken care of after the bride and groom leave for their honeymoon.

Read more:

• Your Wedding Party: Who Does What?
• The Maid of Honor
• Post-Wedding Duties & Responsibilities

The best wedding speeches are short, genuine, and often make everyone laugh—including the bride and groom. Here are a few things to consider when writing wedding toasts.

Father of the Bride Speech

• Thank the guests.
  Also, acknowledge them for all of their support and friendship over the years. You might even thank them for the involvement in the lives of the bride and groom. Remember that you are toasting the guests for their support as well as toasting the couple.
• Share a Childhood Memory.
  The best Father of the Bride wedding toasts usually depict one good memory of the bride's childhood or teen years. Remember, this is not the time to ramble on about the millions of memories you have, as the audience will get bored. Rather, choose a memory that says something about your daughter and your relationship with her. For example, if she is an athlete, tell a story about how competitive she was when she was a little girl in soccer. Or if she loves to travel, tell a story about the family vacation to Rome that you took when she was twelve. Then, relate that story to the future marriage. For example, encourage the groom to remember his bride's love of getting on an airplane—or to watch out anytime the couple competes in sports! Note: this can also present an opportunity to make people laugh.
• Keep it Short and Genuine.
  The best wedding toasts are usually short and to the point. The speech may be sentimental, but don't overdo it. A little reflection is nice, but remember to wrap it up so that you can get the party started.

Best Man Speech

• Make Them Laugh.
  You do not have to be a gifted comedian to generate some laughs; simply sharing a funny memory or story is sufficient! Just make sure that you do not include anything that would embarrass or offend anyone (if you are not sure, then run it by someone you trust to have good judgement).
• Be Positive and Supportive.
  You might even mention that your friend or brother is marrying a great girl. Or, let the girl know that she got a loyal guy. Be genuine about what you say, but try to acknowledge positive aspects of either party.

Maid of Honor Speech

• Thank the guests and encourage them to have fun.
  The more energetic the speech, the more the energy will transfer to the guests, and the better the reception will be.
• Tell a Story.
  Story-telling is one of the best ways to begin a speech, and also to break the ice. If you are a sister or dear friend of the bride, you no doubt have a wealth of material to draw from!
• Be Supportive and Enthusiastic.
  This is a time to celebrate and share in your friend's joy. Emphasize how happy you are for the couple and that you are excited for their future together. (If you are not very happy with your friend's choice of spouse, it is important to address this before the wedding day, not the day of!)

Read more:

• Wedding Toast Etiquette
• When to Toast and When to "Roast!"
• Your Complete Wedding Party: Who Does What?

Although the parents of the bride traditionally take on a large percentage of the parental duties associated with a wedding - including the bulk of the financial burden - there's no doubt that a wedding day is a big event for the groom's parents as well. The mother of the groom plays an important role before and during the wedding.

Mother of the Groom Duties Before The Wedding

• Introduce bride to groom's family:
  Although there's a good chance your son's fiance has met many members of your family before the engagement was announced, hosting a dinner to welcome her into the fold is a nice gesture. If the bride hasn't met much of your family, this is a great way for everyone to begin to get to know each other before the wedding.
• Discuss what expenses you'll be covering:
  With wedding trends changing and families having different traditions, it's important to make sure that expectations about who is paying for what are clear between the couple and both sets of parents. Some expenses that are traditionally paid for by the groom's parents include: rehearsal dinner, drinks at the bar during the reception, tuxes for the groom and male attendants.
• Provide guest list to bride:
  After talking to the couple about how many guests they plan to invite, you'll be responsible for giving the bride a list of family and friends you would like invited to the wedding. Include addresses and some designation of "priority guests" in case the couple needs to shorten their guest list.
• Attend bridal shower and bring gifts:
  It's common for the mother of the groom to be invited to multiple bridal showers, including those hosted by the bride's family. Proper etiquette suggests that you attend all of the pre-wedding parties and bring a gift to each.
• Plan and host the rehearsal dinner:
  This event is usually held the night before the wedding day and includes the couple's immediate family and bridal party. You may also invite guests that have arrived from out of town to attend the wedding. A mother of the groom speech may be given at this time to thank guests, acknowledge the bride's family and say a few words to the couple, especially your soon-to-be-wed son.

Mother Of The Groom Wedding Day Duties

• Be on time for pictures:
  Chances are that you'll be included in a variety of professional photographs, including photos with your son, the couple, and family. Make sure you know when and where you need to arrive for photos.
• Stand in receiving line:
  A receiving line made up of the bridal party and the couple's parents may be formed immediately following the ceremony or at the beginning of the reception. The mother and father of the groom typically stand next to the parents of the bride.
• Dance with the groom:
  The mother/son dance traditionally takes place after the couple's first dance and the father/daughter dance.

While these duties are common, they are by no means the only involvement that the mother of the groom can have in her son's wedding. You may be asked to participate in candle lighting before the ceremony, read select scripture during the wedding, or make a speech at the reception. As with any wedding traditions, each couple and family gets to decide what they will and will not incorporate into their event. Be aware that the bride may have her own traditions to add to her wedding day and that cooperation between both families is almost always required when planning weddings.

Read more:

• Get-to-Know-You Rehearsal Dinner Games
• The Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Speech
• How to Give a Great Rehearsal Dinner Toast

Groomsmen are an integral part of your wedding, and not just guys who look great on the bridesmaids’ arms. Ask friends and relatives, and anyone else who’s been close to your fiancé (and/or you) to take part in the festivities. Groomsmen can be any age, from tiny tots to great grandfathers. But make sure that all the men understand that being a groomsman does not simply mean renting a tux and showing up to party.

While it’s nice to include as many people in your wedding party as possible, avoid asking guys to be groomsmen who are notoriously irresponsible or who can’t guarantee they’ll make it to the reception on time. Keep wedding nerves to a minimum by asking enthusiastic loved ones who’ve expressed an interest in your wedding party. Don’t pressure anyone into taking the “job,” and remember that people often say “yes” out of courtesy.

Your groomsmen are responsible for their own suits, although some couples opt to pay for the men’s outfits. They are fitted ahead of time, a job that can be taken care of in their hometown, should they live away from where the ceremony will take place.

The groomsmen help plan the bachelor party (while it’s common for the Best Man to host, it’s not necessary). The men are also expected to pitch in for the party. Groomsmen, like all guests, are responsible for buying a gift for the bride and groom.

Groomsmen should attend all pre-wedding parties, as well as the rehearsal dinner and the wedding rehearsal. At the ceremony, they usually serve as ushers, and need to arrive early to go over the ceremony site’s seating arrangements. Once guests arrive, groomsmen usher them to their seats, always taking women by the arm. If a couple arrives together, they still take the female’s arm. If a group of people arrive at once, the groomsmen should take the arm of the eldest female first. Groomsmen should know the location of all exits and restrooms.

The groomsmen generally walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids. If there is a shortage of women, two men can walk down on either arm of a bridesmaid.

After the ceremony, tradition has it the groomsmen help “decorate” the getaway car. Some people have retired this tradition, so it needs to be discussed with the Best Man and the groom. At the wedding, groomsmen should encourage guests to get up on their feet and dance, and they should always offer to dance with any women in need of a partner.

Read more: Your Wedding Party: Who Does What?, Including All Siblings in Your Wedding Day and Top 5 Causes of Wedding-Related Family Drama

Your siblings have been with you from day one, and you’ll want to recognize them on your wedding day. The most common honors are making them Groomsmen, Best Man, Bridesmaids, and Maid or Maids of Honor. Those are wonderful ideas, but sometimes they aren’t feasible, or you still have “openings” among your siblings. Here are a couple ideas to make your wedding a true family affair.

Groomsmen almost always serve as ushers, but if you have a lot of brothers you can always add extras. (You can also have one of your brothers hand out programs.) That’s a simple way to include the guys, but there are other, creative options. Readings are smart ways to include the women and men, provided they’re keen on the idea—some people are uncomfortable speaking in front of crowds. Give this “job” to older siblings who love poetry or have something special in mind to recite on your big day.

If you’ve got a singer in your clan, they can perform a song or two for the occasion. This can be tricky if they’re not “American Idol” material, and works best if you still have a DJ or band. On a similar note, a sibling can play you a song on the guitar, violin, even harp. For little ones who’ve been studying piano, a “concert” in your honor can be one of the sweetest gifts you’ll receive. Always make sure that young children are comfortable in front of a crowd, and don’t push them if they back out at the last minute. Flower girls and ring bearers are common roles for very young siblings; once again, don’t pressure them into taking on the responsibility.

Since it’s not always practical to make far-away siblings bridesmaids or groomsmen, you can ask them to read (clear any material with your clergyperson ahead of time). Remember, too, that family like to feel involved, and feel free to ask siblings who live out of town to help with such projects as the guest list or your wedding web site. If you’re going back to where your siblings live for your wedding, have them throw a pre-wedding party at their home or, if they’ve got room, house a few of your guests.

For any sibling who doesn’t have a lot of free time, ask them to make special toast Your brother or sister can practice a short, 5-minute-maximum speech in their spare time, and it’s a wonderful way to let them know how special their words are on the biggest day of your life.

Read more: The Top 5 Causes of Wedding-Related Family Drama, the Bridesman or the Man of Honor and How to Include Underage Bridesmaids