The OurWeddingDay Blog

We're happy to report that four of our favorite wedding trends are making a strong comeback:

1. Weddings at Personal Homes or Backyards. With the popularity of retro-chic wedding trends, creating an event drawing on the comfort of a personal home is making a comeback. One particular advantage to a backyard wedding is that you will likely have the freedom to decorate the space with fewer restrictions than a professional venue. The possibilities are endless; one idea is to place a brightly painted vintage bicycle with a flower basket at the entrance. A potential drawback is that you need to make sure the home has enough bathrooms and space to facilitate the caterers, depending on the size of your guest list.
2. Sit-down Reception Dinners. So long to the buffet lines and appetizer stations! Modern wedding trends include using long, old-fashioned, English court-like dinner tables, just as you would see in a mid-1850's period piece.
3. Mismatched Bridesmaids Dresses. One of the top wedding trends in the last few years has been that brides have chosen a fabric and designer for their bridesmaids' dresses, allowing their girlfriends to choose a style that works best for their figures. Brides are now choosing just the color (or color range) and letting their bridesmaids choose a dress from off the rack. Caution: Make sure your bridesmaids are aware of the level of formality you are going for. You don't want one bridesmaid wearing cotton and another in satin.
4. Homemade Wedding Favors. Going along with the vintage theme, homemade wedding favors can be more personal and more whimsical. These current wedding trends don't need to involve crafts; one couple recently put their own photograph on the label of a Jones soda bottle, and it was adorable!

Read more:

• Winter Wedding Trend Alert: Crystals!
• Wearing Antique Jewelry at Your Wedding
• Make Sure Your Bridal Hair & Makeup Lasts All Day!

Your bridesmaids are your best friends, your lifelong pals and your family. Sometimes, unfortunately, they can also be your problem. While you’re in heaven over your upcoming nuptials, bridesmaids can be competitive or jealous. Unless you address the situation immediately, it can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and damaged relationships. Here, some thoughtful ideas.

Make sure, first of all, that all your bridesmaids and your Maid of Honor truly want to be in your wedding. When you approach each girl, don’t assume that they’re going to be thrilled about taking part. Being a bridesmaid takes a lot of time, energy, and money. If they have reservations, never push them into taking the “job,” and never take it personally if they decline.

What you need to know is why your bridesmaids are unhappy, and to recognize the signals. If a bridesmaid starts missing fittings or lunches or keeps complaining about her dress, chances are something else is bothering her. Instead of getting steamed at her unsupportive nature, call her up and offer to take her out to lunch or coffee—alone. Once you’re together, ask what’s bothering her, and tell her upfront that if she has any reservations about being in your wedding, you need to know.

One of the most common reasons bridesmaids are unhappy is jealousy; perhaps they resent your wedding because it serves as a reminder that they’ve never found the right guy. Be especially sensitive to this issue when it’s your Maid of Honor. If you both had a pact that you’d be there for each other’s wedding, she might get angry that you’re first to walk down the aisle. Or if she’s already married, she may be comparing your wedding plans to what she did, and feel completive.  

If you suspect any of these issues with any member of the wedding party, talk about it. Make sure you let her know how much you love and cherish her friendship, and that your new life will still involve her. Make a point of spending some alone time with her before your big day; maybe a spa day, drinks, or just a night together watching movies.

Other complications for bridesmaids are money and “bridesmaid fatigue.” Some women have been bridesmaids so many times, they have a collection of outfits shoved in the back of their closet. If one of your bridesmaids has been in numerous weddings, take that into consideration when asking her to be in your wedding. Financially, your wedding is going to involve time and money. If someone in your party is struggling financially, she might be too embarrassed to admit it, and she might not want to hurt your feelings. Should a bridesmaid lose her job during your engagement, or have a big conflict—separation, illness in the family—approach her about the situation. You should never be angry when a friend or loved one doesn’t want to be in your wedding. Instead, be grateful that they told you why. On the big day, you’ll both be all that much happier.

There was a time not so long ago (your parents’ generation) when wearing black to a wedding was considered to be in bad taste—black symbolized mourning, death and unhappiness. Like the white wedding dress tradition, times and meanings have changed. Nowadays, it’s okay for guests and members of the wedding to wear black, provided they follow a few bright guidelines.

Before you wear black, know your crowd. Black can get you in trouble for a couple of reasons. In places like Thailand, for example, it’s still taboo to wear black, while in the Philippines it’s common for the bride to wear a black wedding dress. If you’re not sure about wearing black, talk to the bride or a reliable friend about the dress code.

If the bridesmaids are wearing black, consider another color. In the same way that wearing white might draw attention away from the bride, black can clash with the bridesmaids’ outfits. Check ahead of time to find out the color scheme. Should you still decide to wear black, make sure your style of dress is completely different from the wedding party’s. For instance, if they are wearing dresses, go for a skirt.

Black is never appropriate for a casual, breakfast or brunch wedding, or a beach or backyard casual affair. It’s a more formal look, appropriate for cocktail party ceremonies (hence the term “little black dress”), and nighttime affairs.

If you want to wear black, and have cleared it with a reliable source, make sure it doesn’t look like a funeral ensemble. Brighten up the outfit with colorful accessories; a bright scarf, belt, or shoes. Some people wear black outfits that have another color in the material, like colored polka dots.

Ultimately, black is an always-classy choice that is now acceptable for weddings, provided you make sure it’s appropriate for the style and formality of the wedding.

If you’re having an under-age bridesmaid in your wedding (generally, any girl from 8 to 15), you want to make sure she has just as much fun as the other women.

Bachelorette parties are tricky if you’re planning on a night of debauchery; if you’re opting for a different kind of fun (spa day, cooking class), by all means invite the under-age bridesmaid. She can also attend any formal dinner. Make sure she has a means of getting home early if it’s going to be a late night.

According to Danielle Bobish of Curtain Up Events in New York City, the shower is a great way to include younger girls. “Give her an important job so she feels like she’s part of the wedding,” she says. “Have her keep track of gifts for thank-you notes, or gather the ribbons for the fake bouquet.”

For the wedding, a junior bridesmaid wears an outfit in a similar style as the other members of the wedding. For other events, it’s a good idea to talk to her mom about outfits. “Her mother will have a good idea about what she can wear and what she’s comfortable in,” says Bobish. “Never make a young girl wear heels.”

Like everyone else at the wedding rehearsal, she’ll learn where she’s supposed to stand and when she’s walking down the aisle. Wedding prep is a little different. “If you’re hiring a makeup artist and hairstylist, ask the parents if they want to have the girl included.” Bobish says that many artists will simply put a little blush or lip gloss on a child to make her feel special. Don’t tread on the beliefs of parents who don’t wish for their daughter to wear makeup, and don’t be surprised if she’d rather not have it, either. Younger girls, like boys, can be uncomfortable having to get dressed up for formal affairs.

Chances are a young girl isn’t going to ask for a martini at the reception, but it’s nice to let her order her own drink. “If she wants a Shirley Temple or a ginger ale, have her make the request,” says Bobish. “It’s yet another way for her to feel like a member of the wedding, and not just a little kid.”

Now that you have the perfect dress, you need to have it tailored to fit your frame perfectly. Here are some tips for getting your wedding dress altered:

1. Schedule your first fitting appointment three months before your wedding. Plan on having two to four fittings before your wedding. Remember, if you anticipate weight gain or loss before your wedding, don’t have your dress fitted too early.
2. Wedding gowns are intricate and highly structured. If your bridal salon or boutique doesn’t offer fittings on site, be sure to go to a professional seamstress with experience working with wedding dresses. Your wedding's fashion should always be in the hands of the pros.
3. Remind your attendants to schedule alterations for their wedding bridesmaid dresses. Bridesmaid dresses aren’t as complicated as wedding gowns, but often require minor adjustments at the bodice and hemline.
4. Bring your lingerie and shoes to all of your fittings. Your tailor needs to know exactly how high your heels are in order to ensure that your dress’s hemline sweeps the floor properly. Some dresses can have a bra pad sewn into them while others require a specialized bra.
5. If your dress has a complicated bustle, bring one of your attendants to your fittings. Your seamstress will show your attendant—generally your maid of honor—how to fasten the bustle properly.

Celebrity weddings and glamorous bridal magazines are a lot of fun, but nothing’s more helpful than learning how real brides plan their big day.

Amanda from Pittsburgh writes:

Helping a great friend of mine pick out bridesmaid dresses for her wedding was a fun day. Her cousin and I were able to try on a whole bunch of dresses. Some we laughed at, some we absolutely loved. Though I never expected that day would boost my confidence for my own wedding dress.

I ordered my dress about five months ago. This dress is everything I wanted in a wedding dress. But because the sample dress was so small, I had a difficult time finally deciding on this dress over another dress that fit as the sample. At least with the other dress I knew how it would look in the right size. I went with my heart and took the chance on the small dress.

When bridesmaid dress shopping with my friend, her cousin shared with us that her boyfriend took her shopping for an engagement ring. The great thing about the bridal shop we went to was this: we could handle the dresses ourselves. All of the dresses! Including the bridal gowns! The three of us did not have anywhere else to go so we started making her cousin try on wedding dresses. She had yet to even look through magazines at pictures and there we were pulling out the different necklines, fabrics, styles, etc. just to see what she liked.

While sorting through the dresses, my friend came upon my dress. I asked the lady if I could try it on so I could look at headbands and tiaras because I still need one and that’s my dress! When I saw that this dress was one size larger than the dress I ordered, I was beyond ecstatic. Finally, I could get a great look at what the dress will actually look like on me!

Needless to say, I did not want to take the dress off. I ended up finding my jewelry that day. And found a style of headband I like with the dress. Now I just have to the “the one” for me for my wedding day.

Now I am an excited-anxious for my dress to come in instead of a nervous-anxious

Bridesmaid dresses are often the butt of jokes. Almost every woman has a horror story about some awful dress hiding in her closet. When most women think of a bridesmaid dress, they don’t think of style—and they don’t imagine a dress they can wear again.

Luckily, you’re in charge of planning your wedding and you have the power to pick brides maid dresses your attendants will love. Start shopping around early so that you can give your bridesmaids plenty of time to order dresses and have them altered.

Bridesmaids often come in groups, so the color they wear will leave a lasting impression on your guests. Choose the fabric shade wisely, and be ready to coordinate that color with your reception linens, flowers, and the groomsmen’s accessories.

When picking a color, think about the time of year, the flowers you have in mind, and the time and location of your wedding and reception. Evening weddings often feature darker, richer colors, but that’s not a hard and fast rule.

When choosing the style of the dress, you should also consider the time and formality, as well as the season. Many brides choose tea-length dresses for outdoors, summer and beach weddings.  If your bridal gown is somewhat informal, choose short, simple brides maid dresses.

Don’t allow your entire bridal party to chime in on your choice of brides maid dress. Instead, consult one trusted friend—such as your maid or matron of honor. When you find the perfect brides maid dress, ask yourself one final question: Would you wear it?