The OurWeddingDay Blog

Weddings often put guests in the mood to keep on moving, and after-parties are a great way to keep up the excitement. They’re an especially good idea if a lot of your guests have traveled a long-distance for your ceremony, and want to take advantage of their mini “vacation.”

In general, after parties are geared for the younger crowd, in their late-teens or 20s, who are staying at a hotel. However, that’s not a set rule, and you should include local friends, and anyone else who’s involved with your wedding.

“True, the jackets and ties are off and the heels are off and everyone is ‘feeling good,’” says Craig Goldstein, Executive Producer of E squared concepts in Miami and New York. “That being said, you have to remember to cater to all your guests who’ve spent money and time on your wedding. If your parents and their friends want to stick around, have the DJ play something other than Top 40 or House.” Find out ahead of time what kind of crowd you expect, and inform the DJ; one more reason why communicating though your wedding website and RSVP’s are always a great idea.

Goldstein suggests that, if you want an after party to be just for your friends, to send out a separate invitation, and to have it in a different venue than your reception site, such as a nearby club or bar. Just as important, he adds, “Have a party bus or trolley transport friends to and from the site so no one’s drinking and driving.” If that’s impossible, make sure a sober friend is responsible for calling cabs when guests leave.

It’s polite for the bride and groom to attend any after parties, even if they stay for a short while. Guests will understand your fatigue and hectic schedule, but they also know that, ultimately, you’re the star of the show. To make it easier on yourselves, make sure you’ve greeted everyone, ease up on the alcohol, and say your goodbyes before the sun comes up

The Day-After Wedding Brunch is a wonderful tradition that gives you a chance to honor many of your guests, as well as let them celebrate a little longer. Typically, all guests who’ve traveled a long distance to your wedding should be invited to the day-after brunch, as well as the wedding party. There’s no rule as to where you hold the brunch, but you should opt for a convenient location, like the hotel where most of the guests are staying.

Budget-wise, you can go all-out and serve Eggs Benedict and Mimosas, or do something simple like bagels and coffee.  Some people like to have the brunch outside to give it a casual feel. You can coordinate it with an afternoon ball game or adjacent hike, or you can serve up copies of the daily paper or crossword.

Feel free to invite everyone from your wedding, but remember that it’s not required. “If you’re worried about your budget, don’t overdo it,” says Daniele Bobish of Curtain Up Events in New York City. “If it’s between a big brunch or a big cake, go for the cake.” The important thing to remember is that the brunch gives the long-distance travelers something more to do than just hang around their hotel before they’re scheduled to leave. The actual brunch is completely optional, and no one should be offended if you don’t have one.

There’s also no rule on who pays for the day-after brunch, so it’s a discussion you need to have with your groom and anyone else who’s involved in planning the wedding. Make sure all the information is included on your web site, or on a list of activities placed in people’s rooms.

When deciding on the time of your day-after brunch, keep in mind that a lot of your guests are going to be tired, not to mention hung-over. “Noon is fine,” says Bobish. “Eleven is okay, but nine a.m. is just offensive.” Bloody Mary’s are always a good idea, and so is making the invitation informal so people can opt out if they wish. Formal brunches are great, but be warned that a lot of guests won’t realize their RSVP count. “Sometimes guests don’t realize you need a head count,” says Bobish. “So try and spread the word around beforehand.”

Read more about Married Life here.

Once you’ve decided to change your maiden name (which, of course, not every married woman does), most of the paperwork can be done immediately after your wedding. There’s no deadline (some wait years!), but you’ll need to make your new name legal ASAP, for all your important documents in the coming years. Honeymoons and passports are the big “if,” as many couples like to have their married names on travel documentation. If you don’t try and change your passport name before the wedding, remember to purchase all of your tickets under your maiden name. (However, since we’re no longer living in the Dark Ages, don’t worry about raised eyebrows over different last names.)

To legally change your name, obtain copies of your marriage license (in itself, it does not mean your new name is legal), and get a new Social Security card. You may be able to make the changes online, or you may have to make a trip to their offices. There are some states that require a Petition for Change of Name, so check with your State Supreme Court to find out about any requirements unique to your state... Continue reading here.

Wedding traditions aren’t limited to the engagement, ceremony and reception. When you wake up on your first day after the wedding as a married couple, be prepared for a few more obligations and wedding traditions. Not to mention all those gifts to sort through.

Check out your postnuptial obligations and traditions here, including brunch, farewells, thank-yous and more.

Wedding traditions aren’t limited to the engagement, ceremony and reception. When you wake up on your first day after the wedding as a married couple, be prepared for a few more obligations and wedding traditions. Not to mention all those gifts to sort through.

Check out your postnuptial obligations and traditions here, including brunch, farewells, thank-yous and more.

After your tickets are bought, and reservations made it’s time to focus on how to make this a honeymoon he’ll never forget.

Lingerie
Turn up the heat with the following must-haves for the bedroom:

• Laced Corset: There’s nothing that says “special occasion” like this sultry and timeless piece of lingerie.
• Garters: Add them to any slip or panties and turn his face from nude to pink.
• Thigh-Highs: Always sexy, always!
• Baby-Doll Slip: The perfect mix of cute and sexy siren.
• Satin Slip: It's both classic and the perfect choice for bedtime during your honeymoon.
• Satin Pajamas: It doesn’t matter if you choose silk pants, shorts, long or short sleeves. All of these looks will turn up the heat.

Sexy and Romantic Games
Play a few of these games specifically for couples and your love will come out ahead:

• Scavenger Hunt: Begin with a sweet note sending him hunting for treasure in your hotel honeymoon suite, where he’ll find massage oils and lotions, rose petals, chocolate, strawberries, whipped cream, love poems, etc. There are no rules with this game—go as big or as small as you’d like!
• Romantic Scrabble: It’s the same as regular Scrabble except you both receive extra points for words related to love and romance.
• Love and War: This game is played exactly like War, except when each person flips a card, the winner tells the other something they love about him or her.

Read the rest here including suggestions for intimate indulgences, excitement for adventure-seekers and fun extras!

After your wedding, begin starting new traditions and celebrating milestones. Married life is an adventure. Unlike wedding planning, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how to proceed. After the wedding, pick and choose the traditions that mean a lot to you and your spouse. Have fun taking advantage of the new opportunities you have as man and wife.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

Time Magazine published an interesting article this week titled, "Postnuptial Depression: What Happens the Day After."  It explores what most folks refer to as the "wedding day blues" or the range feelings that newlyweds sometimes experience immediately following their ceremonies.

Experts and brides agree that these feelings can be as simple as boredom once all the high-intensity planning is done or to more deeper issues like transitioning into a new life with someone new and the mundane routines and rituals that follow.

They write, "...once the Big Day has come and gone, couples are suddenly forced to step out of their much-cherished, and often long-lived, "bride" or "groom" spotlight and just get on with real life."

What do you think?  Is postnuptial depression real?  Or do you have any ideas for preparing or coping?  Check out the full article and share your thoughts with other brides.