If your wedding planning has turned into a chore, it’s time to step back and re-assess how you’re going about it. Even though the days and weeks leading up to your big day can get stress-filled, they should also be fun. Make sure you’re not creating problems where none exist.
A big problem for many brides is aiming too high. There are variations on this issue, the most common being trying to fit more into your wedding than your budget can handle. Once you’ve decided on how much money you can spend, stick to it. There are ways to deal with disappointment, however. Should you be dead-set on an extravagant, six-tiered cake, get it, and nix the favors or the calligraphy. Make sure, too, that you spend money on the things you love and desire, not what other people insist you purchase.
Fantasy vs. reality.
Many brides get disappointed because something isn’t perfect. This can be a bridesmaid who cancels, a site that isn’t available, even a fight with Mom over the guest list. Part of the problem arises from “fairy tale” syndrome: that dream you always had of the perfect wedding. Now that you’re a big girl, you need to remember that, no matter how hard you try, not every aspect of the wedding will go off without a hitch. If you get depressed about that last-minute acne breakout, take a breath and remember why you’re getting married. Once you realize this is the day you’re taking the hand of the man you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, the smaller things seem insignificant. Always look at the big picture.
This is not a democracy!
Another way for wedding glory to turn sour is when you allow too many people to make decisions for you. Between your mom, his mom, dads, bridesmaids, vendors, and pretty much anyone you ask, your wedding planning can easily turn into a focus group affair. Luckily, you’re the one who possesses the skills to keep that from happening. For every aspect of your wedding, rely on one person you trust to give you advice. It can be your husband for the food, your best friend for the flowers, mom for the dress, etc. Keep in mind that if you ask 10 people’s opinion on how you should wear your hair, you’re very likely to get 10 different responses. Trust yourself first and foremost, and remember that it’s your day.
Who’s wedding is this, anyway?
On a related note, know that no matter how hard you try to please everyone who’s invited to your wedding, some people will be disappointed (and may behave rudely!). Whether it’s their seats, being left out of the wedding party, not wanting to walk down to a beach in their shoes, or anything else, there will always be people who’d prefer you organized your affair differently. The only way to handle this problem is to remember that it is your affair, and you are allowed to handle it any way you like. Try and accommodate people, and listen to their complaints. In the end, however, it’s only the two of you who need to be satisfied.