The wedding garter toss was one of the first wedding traditions, and is still present at some weddings today. If you’re on the fence about having a wedding garter on your big day, then some research could help guide you toward your final decision. Knowing what a wedding garter set’s
use is, and possibly how to make it on your own could influence your decision.
If you’re a young bride, you many not be aware of the history of the garter toss, since they aren’t as prevalent amongst modern weddings as they used to be. The lace wedding garter used to be one of the most important wedding accessories and a close second to the ubiquitous bridal bouquet. There are a few wedding garter traditions, for example that it has always been worn high up on the bride’s thigh.
If you choose yes, then picking a garter that fits your size and unique style is of the utmost importance. The best way to ensure your wedding garter is exactly what you want is by making it yourself.
How does one make a wedding garter? It’s a moderately difficult task, but you’ll find that it could be worth every ounce of energy you put into it. You will need the following materials to create your very own wedding garter is a 3” wide fabric strip that is about one and a half times the circumference of your leg. You’ll also need some lace trim, elastic, a needle and thread (or a sewing machine), and any other decorative embellishments you want to include on your garter.
- Next, get your thigh measurement. Figure out exactly where on your thigh you want the garter to go, and measure the circumference of your thigh in that spot.
- Turn the fabric strip so that the wrong side is facing outward, then fold it length-wise in half.
- Then sew the edge of the fabric, and then turn the tube of it so that the right side is facing outward.
- Find the seam in the back and center it. Once the seam is flat it will face your leg so that it will be hidden once the garter is on.
- Find your lace strip and sew it onto the bottom edge of the strip.
- Next you’ll need to put the elastic into the tube of the fabric. If the elastic is being stubborn and won’t make it’s way all the way through then pull it out and pin a safety pin to the end of it and push it through.
- Now it’s time to place the garter around your thigh and find a comfortable measurement for the elastic. Once you’ll found the perfect length, mark it and trim it.
- Use either a needle and thread or a sewing machine to sew the two ends of the strip together, creating a circle. Begin with the elastic, and then move to the fabric and then lace.
- The last step is to add any embellishments you would like to your garter. Some popular items include faux flowers, crystals, pearls, and bows.
The main difference between a Buddhist wedding ceremony and other religious based ceremonies is that it is centered on spiritual faith. Buddhist wedding ceremonies may seem simple at first, but actually require a good amount of planning if the Buddhist couple wants to adhere to traditional Buddhist rituals.
Are you and your partner a match made in heaven? Before you can even get engaged, your partner must first consult a Buddhist priest, or monk, to ensure that your horoscopes are compatible and that you’re a good match. If you and your partner’s horoscopes do not match up, according to the Buddhist priest, then you are asked to separate, and discontinue your relationship. If you are indeed deemed to be a good match, then your partner along with his family and priest will decide on a spiritually sound date to propose marriage.
Traditionally monks were not allowed at Buddhist ceremonies, however, in modern day Buddhist weddings they play an important role from beginning to end.
Following the proposal is a traditional betrothal ceremony called Chessian. In the Chessian, the bride’s uncle is placed on a platform, while the Buddhist priest shares Madyan with guests, which is a religious drink.
After the Chessian, the bride and groom decide where to hold the ceremony. Buddhist ceremonies typically take place in small venues, and include only close friends and family members. It is not uncommon to hold a Buddhist ceremony at the bride’s home or a temple.
On the day of the wedding the following rituals take place:
- The bride and groom are required to wear traditional Buddhist wedding garments. The bride must wear a dress called Bhaku, as well as the groom.
- A shrine honoring Buddha should be prepared at the ceremony location.
- The groom must add the bride’s dowry to the shrine honoring Buddha. The dowry typically includes fruit, tea, cake, jewelry, meat, and incense.
- A tray holding two candles should also be placed on the shrine. The couple will light the candles during the ceremony.
- A red paste is applied to both the bride and grooms foreheads.
- The ceremony begins when the couple lights the candles as well as the incense.
- Guests are asked to pour water on the bride and groom's hands. This ritual represents the blessings placed on the couple.
- The following hymns are recited: Vandana, Tisarana, and Pancasila.
- After the hymns, traditional Buddhist wedding vows are recited by the couple, which is inscribed in the Sigilovdda Sutta. The vows are as follows: "Towards my wife I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management and present gifts to please her." The bride then responds with, "Towards my husband I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings and discharge my responsibilities lovingly and fastidiously."
- The ceremony is concluded with Buddhist wedding readings, and blessings for the newly married couple.
Modern day Buddhist wedding traditions vary greatly from the original Buddhist traditions of yesteryear. Although some traditions remain, modern day Buddhist weddings are much more relaxed. As with all weddings, however, there is proper etiquette to follow.
Attire: The bride and groom typically wear semi-formal garb, like a dress and a suit. Guests are allowed to wear whatever they please, as long as it is tasteful and modest, unless stated otherwise by the bride and groom. As with most weddings, shoulders should be covered during the ceremony.
Shoes: If the Buddhist wedding takes place at a temple, you are required to remove your shoes before entering. It is also considered disrespectful for any soles of the feet to be pointed at Buddha or any official who is performing at the ceremony.
Cell Phones: This code of conduct is true for all ceremonies—all cell phones and electronic devices should be turned off during the ceremony, especially during the Buddhist wedding vows.
Rice: It is considered inappropriate to throw rice or confetti after the ceremony.
Order of Events: Contrary to original Buddhist wedding traditions, there isn't a customary order of events at a modern Buddhist wedding reception. Typically, it consists of dinner and dancing, but neither are required according to Buddhist traditions.
If you are looking for a spiritual, yet non-religious way to organize your wedding ceremony, consider planning a Buddhist wedding. Buddhist wedding ceremony traditions are simple, yet meaningful. Here are a few customs to incorporate:
First, decide where you are going to hold your wedding. Typically, a Buddhist wedding is a very small affair, with only a few close friends and family members present. Temples are a possibility if you need to hold more guests; otherwise, a private home is a more intimate option.
Visit a Buddhist priest, who can help you decide whether or not you are compatible, and if so, what day would be spiritually favorable to get married.
Incorporate customs such as the Chessian. During this betrothal ceremony, the bride’s maternal uncle sits on a platform while the lama, or Buddhist priest, prays and shares Madyan (a religious drink) with the guests.
Begin the wedding ceremony customs by lighting candles and incense and placing them in front of the shrine to Buddha. Hymns such as Vandana, Pancasila, and Tisarana are quite common.
Recite Buddhist wedding vows, found in the Sigilovdda Sutta.
Finish the wedding ceremony by reciting blessings, such as the Magnal Sutta or the Jayamangala Gatha.
Believe it or not, the wedding garter toss is one of the oldest of all wedding traditions still in practice to this day. It all began in the Dark Ages, when it was tradition for the friends and family of the bride and groom to escort them to their marriage bed after the wedding. They wouldn’t stay long though; in fact as soon as the couple was nestled comfortably in their bed, then their company would leave.
Then the wedding garter toss transformed into a game. After the bride would take off her wedding garter sets, the bridal party would then throw the garter at the grooms nose with the intention of landing it directly on it, and the person who did so with success was deemed the next to marry.
The garter toss was always a rowdy game, since it required that the wedding party help the bride out of her wedding gown and custom wedding garters. Some wedding guests would even try to pull at the bride’s garters for good luck.
Today, tossing the bride’s garter to the male wedding guests is all that remains of the original tradition. The custom has even become more specific in that it is the single male guests that are called to enter the dance floor for the garter toss, and whoever catches it is the next to marry. Some modern weddings even have the single female bouquet catcher share the next dance with the male guest who caught the garter.
When it comes to the subject of a wedding purse, brides seem to have mixed reviews. Some brides say that you really don’t need it; others say that they needed it for peace of mind. Here are some pros and cons of carrying a bridal purse:
Pros: There are quite a few things that a bride may want to keep handy, such as lipstick for touching up, (potentially) deodorant, checks to give to vendors, or a cell phone. Most likely, a bride will not need any of those things (except perhaps the lipstick), but many say that it is a huge comfort knowing that these things are close at hand just in case. Also, it is an excuse to purchase a wedding purse (and if you choose one that is versatile, you could use it for other formal events in the future).
Cons: Other brides say that in the fast-moving, slightly chaotic course of a wedding, it is absolutely unnecessary to carry a purse. Many brides give their belongings to their mother, their maid of honor, or other bridesmaid to hold onto (someone who is in close proximity throughout the occasion). They say that most likely, you won’t even think about a purse during your wedding because you will be so busy visiting, dancing and taking pictures.
A Buddhist wedding is typically a simple, yet meaningful, occasion. The civil ceremony takes place in a back yard or home, and afterwards, couples usually go to a temple to receive special blessings from a monk. This also involves a time of prayer and giving gifts to the monk, such as food, medicine, flowers, and candles.
In Buddhist wedding traditions, the bride and groom wear embroidered mediation robes (the exact type of robe depends on the country where the wedding takes place). In the western world, couples might not even wear a robe. Wedding guests should wear something that is in good taste. If you are a guest at a Buddhist wedding, remember that you will need to remove your shoes before entering the temple.
Buddhist wedding ceremony vows typically go something like this: “Towards my wife I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management, present gifts to please her.” The bride says: “Towards my husband I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings, discharge my responsibilities lovingly and fastidiously.”
At an Indian Buddhist wedding, the food is almost always vegan or vegetarian. Western Buddhist weddings do not necessarily adhere to this practice, and meat can be consumed.
Elysa Ross, owner of Another Look Weddings, is an event planner, aesthetician and makeup artist with over 15 year’s experience. Check back next week for more tidbits & ideas. Add another look weddings to your Facebook page for special promotions.
Honoring loved ones who are no longer with them is something many couples want to incorporate into their wedding. Paying homage to those of late who played important roles in the brides and groom’s life is a moving and meaningful experience.
Couples may choose to incorporate private details into their wedding. The bride may wear a piece of jewelry or an accessory that was given to her by the person being honored. She may have a written prayer dedicated to that person ensconced in her bouquet. The groom may carry a trinket in his lapel pocket or wear cufflinks given to him by the departed.
For those who want the sentiment to be shared with guests, there are tasteful ways to recognize the person’s memory. A poem or dedication can be read. The bride or groom, a friend or relative or whomever performed the ceremony can read it either during the ceremony or at the reception. A picture of the person or pictures of the remembered with the bride and groom may be displayed on the gift table or with the sign-in book. A written dedication can be added to the programs.
Remembering and including those memories into your wedding will make it even more gratifying for you. The extra touches of reminiscence will make your day even more special.
Jewish wedding traditions dictate that before a wedding can begin, the Badeken ceremony occurs, where the groom veils his bride. With Jewish customs, it is traditional for the bride and the groom not to have seen each other three to seven days before the wedding. The groom must also confirm that he is marrying the right woman—a tradition that stems from the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah. After the groom covers the bride’s face, she will stay veiled until the Seven Blessings are recited under the Chuppah.
An emphasis on music is nearly always present with Jewish wedding traditions. One of the most beautiful Jewish wedding processional songs is “I am my beloved...my beloved is mine,” with music set to the well-known passage from The Song of Songs by King Solomon. This is a representation of the love between the people of Israel and their God. Several versions of this song exist.
The wedding ceremony is over when the groom steps on a glass and breaks it. This originated when a rabbi broke a glass during a wedding feast in order to warn against an excess of joy. This is a reminder that even during times of happiness and feasting, the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem should not be forgotten.
After the ceremony, the bride and groom retire to a private room where they break their fast and relax for a few minutes before greeting their wedding guests.
When hiring local wedding DJs, it's customary to supply them with a list before your reception of songs you do want played and songs you absolutely do not want to hear during your reception. While choosing the wedding DJ music might seem like the simplest of decisions you need to make before the big day, there's actually quite a bit of controversy among brides about some popular wedding songs and whether or not they should still be include on today's playlists. When you meet with your DJ you'll need to decide: will you or won't you play The Chicken Dance?
Guest Participation Songs
The Chicken Dance is a classic example of songs that reception DJs play in order to encourage guests to get out of their seats and onto the dance floors. Many DJs refer to songs like The Chicken Dance, YMCA and The Macarena as "guest participation songs" and will encourage couple's to consider including them as part of the approved repertoire. Sure, these songs may be a little cheesy, but they are also well known and don't require smooth moves for your friends and family to dance along.
Too Tacky for a Formal Affair
Familiar or not, some brides are stepping up to ban these well-known musical numbers from their wedding receptions claiming that they are too tacky and overplayed. There's no denying that the sight of men and women in elegant evening attire flapping their arms like chickens isn't exactly elegant. If you've envisioned your wedding reception as a sophisticated event than you should make your desires about your wedding DJ music clear. Don't let anyone — even a wedding DJ — tell you what your reception should be like.
Fun Without the Chicken
If you're concerned that your wedding reception won't be fun for your guests without the inclusion of these old "favorites," but you cringe at the idea of one more refrain of "I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck" being song on your wedding day, talk to your DJ about your concerns. Share the vision you have of your reception. Do you imagine people laughing and dancing on the dance floor all night or mingling around the room with cocktails and champagne flutes? If it's important to you to have a full dance floor, ask your local wedding DJs for recommendations on other popular songs that encourage dancing without the gimmicks. An experienced DJ will be able to give you several suggestions including games, music styles that appeal to a variety of ages, and chart-topping but wedding-appropriate pop songs.
Know that this is your wedding and wedding reception and you and your fiance get to decide what type of event it will be. You also get to decide what type of wedding DJ music you want to remember for the rest of your lives. Whether you want to insist on no country music, demand all 80s hits or refuse to allow the YMCA, an experienced wedding DJ will ensure you and your guests have a great time.